Yo Joe

So, in 1994 G.I. JOE came out with a set of Street Fighter action figures; and after a shoplifting trip at Walmart, Danny, Church, and I had collected most of them.

The lead up to this story is that Church and I were leaving to go to the beach with her parents the next day, and her license was suspended. Did either of those things stop us from a. going out shoplifting, or b. her not driving?.. Nope, and nope. So we're hauling ass back to the house, Danny lying in the middle row of seats in the Caravan, Church driving, and me riding shotgun in the broken passenger seat. By broken I mean it wouldn't go back so I had to ride with my heels in the pocket under the seat and my knees wedged into the dashboard. (and that saved my ass)

Coming down the road, Danny has E. Honda and Ryu fighting on his chest and me and Church are looking back laughing our asses off, when some dude in an old pickup in front of us decides to make a right turn. Unfortunately we weren't looking in front of us. Church slams into the guy at around 65mph, and instead of hitting the brakes she freaks out and hits the gas, which slams us into him again. My head hits the windshield on the first hit and spiderwebs it, and the second impact I hit it again and knocked it out. Danny's yelling in the back that his leg is bleeding and people are running up yelling that the police are on the way.

I realize that she has no license and I need to jump in the driver's seat, so we switch up, but I'm pretty dazed, (huge head didn't totally protect my fragile brain), so my feet are still on the passenger side. The first responder arrives and I tell him I have to get out.. He says, "No, stay right there, the ambulance is on the way", then he sees my feet on the wrong side of the vehicle and tells me "maybe it would be a good idea to get out". The ambulance finally gets there, and they load Danny in, I hear him yell, "HEY, Somebody tell the fat guy with the glasses where you're taking me so he can come get me!", his leg had gotten cought on the jack under the seat and was ripped open most of the way from his knee to his foot, then the cop gets there.

Mr. Po-po walks around the van and looks at dude's truck and takes us to the cruiser to find out how this happened. He asks who was driving and I say I was. Then he asks if we had our seatbelts on and I say "yes", except Danny who was in the back. Then he asks who hit the windshield and I say I did... which in hindsight was stupid because the glass was busted on the passenger side, and Piglett realized that right off the bat. He pauses for a second, and says "are you sure you had your seatbelt on? I say "yep", then he sees that the vinyl from the dashboard is imbedded in my knees and it all clicks in his head. He asks Church if she has her license and she tells him it's suspended.. He chuckles, and says "So this is the story we're going with huh?", and the nice fella gives me the most rediculous ticket I ever heard of... Failure to reduce speed to avoid an accident.. cost me $20 and 1 point on my insurance.. hehe. And now you know.. and knowing's half the battle.